Monetary gift for HS graduation

by M. Cox
(NY, NY)

If is in poor taste for someone to put a dollar amount on a HS graduation party invite? I thought it was just ok to monetary gifts only which would be going to support the youth who is attending college.


In reply

Depending on the circumstances it would be normal to give gifts for those going to college or joining the armed forces. However if you are going to the graduation party it would be normal to take a gift. Without knowing those involved it is hard to give a meaningful comment on them stating a monetary amount.

graduation gifts

by missysue
(evansville, indiana)

Invited to 2 graduation open houses and received one graduation announcement. Are gifts required for all three of these? missysue


In reply

This is your choice.

On a personal note I would decide on my overall gift budget and divide it up depending on how close I was to each person, but I like to give gifts. Certainly if I was going to the party I would give something. I might also think about any gifts this group had bought for our daughters, if any. But these are just personal thoughts.

No Graduation Invitation

by Elijah

A grad is offered to go on a vacation trip or have party. He chooses trip. He is a relative. Am I expected to still give a gift. When my daughter graduated we had a party and they gave to us.




In Reply


I can't see any expectation of gift giving here, it will be your own choice.

Announcements Question

My questions are these. I have two graduations this year, one from High School and one from College.

Many of our friends also have graduating seniors both from High School and College. Is is correct etiquette to send announcements to them. They already know and are going to the ceremonies because of their own graduates. Will they feel that we expect a gift from them because we sent them announcements? (we will probably put no gifts)

Also can we put no gifts on only some of the announcements? Where should that go? Should it be a personal note tucked into the announcement?

Thank you.


In Reply


Many thanks for contacting us. Announcements would normally go to family and those, for example, who live too far away to be included in things like ceremony and party invites. As a result you do not need to send announcements to this group. If you do they would likely feel they should send a gift unless you cover it with "no gifts". On a personal note I might send announcements if they do it, just to be polite. You might know them well enough to talk it over.

You can put no gifts and make it a footnote on the announcements that you send. The issue of no gifts is for you to decide on so you can put it in a personal note if you wish.

You might put no gifts on some and not others. Again on a personal note I would find this tricky as my concern would be the different people would meet and find out about the difference. Hopefully you can see how it would work.


Congratulations to your graduates.

Oops! I forgot to send a relative a graduation invite and have received a gift!!!

I missed sending a college invitation to an aunt who sent a graduation gift of money. Do I send her the invite/announcement even though graduation has passed? I do plan on sending her a thank you note of course but just not sure about sending the college ceremonial/announcement. Please advise



In Reply


A graduation announcement would normally go out to those who are not being invited and can be sent even after the ceremony. If you have an announcement that may be the thing to send. Your thank you card will certainly be important.

These are really the only two official items you can send.

Thank for sending in your question.

Graduation gift etiquette for multiple grads

My son is graduating high school this year. We are having his graduation party later in the summer. We have been invited to several of his classmates' graduation parties, and most of those same people have been invited to his party. My question is whether or not we need to give gifts to all of his friends who are graduating. Since we are all attending each other's parties, is it acceptable for us all to agree not to give presents - since we'll all be giving the same amount as we'll be receiving? And if so, how do you breech that topic with the other families?


In Reply


Many thanks for contacting me and congratulations to your graduate.


There is no real etiquette question as gifts are a personal decision. If you all agree not to give gifts that would be fine.
On a personal note there are a few ways of approaching the other families if you do not know them well. Purely as an example, you might start by asking what they are doing in terms of gifts for their own graduate and compare notes there. That could let you also ask how they feel about buying lots of gifts for the other graduates. You may be able to see a way ahead once you know how they feel.

Mindy

by mindy
(pittsburgh, pa)

My friend and I both have daughters graduating together and we decided to have their party together. We would like to know how we write on the invitation that guests are not obligated to buy for the one girl if invited by the other.


In Reply


Firstly congratulations to both daughters.

Thanks for asking such a great question. There may be a few ways to consider here. You could try "if you are buying a gift please do so only for the graduate you know".

Or, "although this is a joint party please only buy a gift for the graduate you know".

Or, "You are not obligated to buy a gift for the graduate you don't know"


You can see from these suggestions that it can be a little cumbersome using the not obligated option. However depending on the wording on your invites you may feel a particular approach works for you. I would be delighted to hear how you finalised the wording.

Combined Graduation Parties

(Merced County)

We are having a High School Graduation Celebration for two people, they are just friends and not related so they will be inviting their own family and friends. What is the proper etiquette for letting people know they do not need to bring gifts for both graduates.



In Reply


Many thanks for contacting us and congratulations to both graduates. Gifts are not an obligation as their origin dates back to graduates joining the military and needing certain things. You might like to consider wording that clarifies the position directly, depending on the guests. Something like "if you are buying a gift please do so only for the graduate you know" might just work. Alternatives are hard to word effectively unless they are a complete no gifts policy. Please come back to me once you have had a think about wording that suits your guests. Certainly they might just be relieved to find they are only expected to buy gifts for their favorite graduate.

is it appropriate to include gift idea list in my son's high school graduation invitations?

We are having a family and close friend back yard bbq for our son's high school graduation. We plan on only about 20 people. Is it appropriate to include gift idea list in my son's high school graduation invitations?


In reply

Thanks for asking this great question.
It is always a tricky one since there is no real etiquette here. I would think that you would do so only if you are sure of the guests you are inviting. If, for example you always buy gifts for each other's children at graduation then there is no harm in it at all. I would hesitate if I was unsure about how an individual guest would feel about it. After all the most important thing will be to make guests feel welcome.

Gifts

by Kc
(ms)

Is okay to list where the student in registered for gifts?


In reply

This is OK. You could do that and word it respectfully so that no one feels they need to buy anything.