Miscellaneous Graduation Invitations Etiquette Questions

8th grade graduation parties

by Kim
(Atlantic county NJ)

Hello

Is an 8th grade graduation party correct etiquette? I am planning one for my daughter,but have received other invites to high school graduations...I know its only grade school graduation, but it is a big deal to us as her parents. Our school district does do a formal cap & gown graduation. We are doing a barbeque at a park, nothing formal.

Thank you

In Reply

This seems like such a wonderful thing to do. There may be no formal etiquette, but it is your own choice. Congratulations to your daughter and I hope the BBQ is a big success.

????? are there applicable guidelines?/

is there a right or wrong way to handle announcements/invitations? When the Groom is graduating college and the wedding is two weeks later?
We would like to share both events. But what would be the proper way...????

In Reply

Thanks for getting in touch. This surely is a new one for me. I can only give a personal opinion here as I cannot find any guidelines.
Probably best to ask yourselves what the primary event is which is likely to be the wedding. In that case you could follow all wedding etiquette and also add that the invites are also to the graduation celebrations of (your fiance's name). I would probably think through how many guests would be there if it was a graduation party only. If that is not all of the guests you may feel that it really is a wedding.
Again on a personal note I would be concerned about the gifts side. I would need to work out how to handle guests who would buy a wedding gift and a graduation gift. I may make sure they know not to do that.

I am sorry I can't help any further here as this is a new one for me.

I do congratulate both of you and hope that you have the best time ever at your celebrations.

All Members of the Household not Invited...

Is it rude not to invite all members of a household? For instance, our son received a graduation announcement/invitation to a reception of some friends of ours and his name only, was on it. He is in college, but still lives with us.

In Rely

Clearly the hosts can invite who they wish, but I do understand your feelings. Perhaps they are up against a tight budget or their graduate has created a guest list for a party with their own friends. Some people don't like to send announcements if they are not also inviting the person to the party. This is a tricky one to answer without knowing their circumstances.

Invites to extended family

I am in a bind. I am having my daughter's party on a rental cruise boat. However, she does not want it to be a full out "family" party. However, do I have to invite my aunt's, their chilren (my cousins) and their children (2nd cousins)? It would be way too many and my daughter barely knows these people. I don't want anyone to be offended.

In Reply

It is your choice who you invite. Many people for many reasons decide on a strict guest list so it is not unusual. You might decide to send a nice graduation announcement to them and if your are concerned about pressure to buy gifts you can simply state "No Gifts please". (I have removed names etc.)

curious

Is it disrespectful to send a high school graduation invitation to a family that also has a child graduating?

In Reply

This one may depend on the exact circumstances. If this is a family that you love and wish to invite to your party, for example, then I am sure they will be delighted.

Graduation Invitations

Should I send Graduation Invitations to my parents friends and out of town family? I guess basically who should they be sent to? Also, my parents are divorced with new families.

In Reply

This question does throw up a few issues. Have you set a budget and know how many guests you can invite. Of the guest limit you have can you manage to invite all the family and friends. The tough choices come if you cannot invite them all within your budget.
In terms of who you invite, it is your choice. I am afraid it can be tough to decide on a distant relative against a friend. Once you have checked your numbers feel free to come back to us.

Uni grad

Hello
I'm having a grad celebration but am on a tight budget. I'm paying for dinner an host bar for my family and closest friends and then want to have a cash bar after dinner after the more intimate celebration that I can invite my colleagues and class mates I'm not as close with. I have a lot of friends that I want to be there but can't afford to have everyone for dinner and open bar. How do I word the invites to send to the aquantances for the less formal part of the evening that starts at 9pm?

In reply

Congratulations to you. This sounds like a great arrangement. You could just invite them to your party and leave out all mention of drinks and food, or you could just add that there is a cash bar.
Where we live it is normal for the host to provide a free drink and then we expect the rest of the night to be for us to pay. Where that is not the case we do tell people upfront. They don't need to say much, just add that there is a cash bar.

Good luck to you and I hope the party goes really well.

Invites sent to everyone?

by Debbie
(Dallas)

If you know some family members will not be able to attend a graduation/graduation party because of where they live, should you still send them an invitation?

In Reply

If you know for sure they can't come then you might send an announcement and let them know you wanted to send an invite but understand they cannot make it. On a personal note I would talk to them about it. They might just decide they would come and then you can get an invite off to them.

Graduation ettiquette

by Ann
(Texas)

I have chosen to not walk at my college graduation, I want my family and friends to know I have graduated, but also I need them to respect my wishes to NOT walk.

I want to send out invitations, but need to know how to tell them that I just wanted them to know I graduated?

no comments on why I should walk, I am not going to do it. Thank you.

In Reply

Thanks for contacting me. Answering just the part you require it does seem like the etiquette you require is for Garduation Announcements. You do need to be sure it is announcements you are sending and follow the etiquette for them. If you do mean to send invitations then let me know and we can think again.

sending an invitation to the house where mother in law lives with us

by Michelle
(Danbury, CT)

My mother in law lives with us. If someone sends us an invitation to a party what is the proper etiquette for sending an invitation? I thought it would be to send 2 invitations: one for us and one in my mother in law's name. Can u please let me know what the proper etiquette is?
Thanks a bunch

In Rely

I think the best way to go ahead is to send separate invitations.

inviting family to united states

how do i write a invite to ask family to visit me in the united states can you help Thank you

In reply

Many thanks for contacting us. We would love to help but really do need to know more about the circumstances. If it is for your graduation then the usual graduation invitations will be just fine, except you may want to say what you will do to help with accommodation for example.

Question

Is it proper to send high school graduation invitations to families who also have a graduating senior?

In Reply

Thanks for your question and congratulations to your graduate. It would not seem to be the right thing to do to send an invitation. However you could send an announcement.

kelli

Do the parents send the graduation invitations and use the home address as the return address--or does the student use his college apartment return address? ALso where does the foil seal go--on the outside envelope or on the inside one?

In Reply

On the address, if the invites are sent from the parents then their address should be used. If the invites are addressed from the student then they can choose the return address to use.

The seal goes on the inner envelope if you have one that contains the announcement.

DIFFERENT LAST NAME OF GRADUATE & PARENT

by Charlotte Duvall
(Laurel, MD USA)

My grandson lives with us and his mother lives in another town. She has a different last name than my grandson. She would like to send announcements to her friends but the friends do not know her son's last name. Is it appropriate to put the mother's return address on the announcement.

My grandson's return address label will be on the front of the envelope. Where do I put the mother's name and return address?

In Reply

Congratulations to your Grandson on his graduation.

Thanks for contacting us, I hope I can give you the reply you need.

Your Grandson's mom could try to make sure the announcements wording covers the different names. If there is a return address then recipients would understand what was happening. It would seem better to use one return address only.

Please let me know if you wish any clarification, I will be very pleased to help in any way I can.

Graduation Save The Date

by maureen
(New York)

How far in advance should save the dates be mailed out for a graduation party?

In Reply

Thanks for contacting us.

Sending save the date cards out once you know the time and date of the graduation party is a good idea. Particularly if you have out of town guests this will help them plan their attendance.

Friends graduating same day

by Betsy
(Mass)

When your child is graduating along with their friends and you would like to send invition (Surprise Party) to their friends, do you invite their parents also seeing their children are graduating also?

In Reply

First off congratulations to the graduate. I hope graduation is a very special day.

There is no etiquette to cover inviting the parents of friends to the party. You are free to decide what you want to do.

Inviting co-workers

My husband and I have worked at the same place for 26 years. I am in management. We're not sure who it's appropriate to invite. Do we invite our boss? Does my husband invite his direct supervisor even though this person has not met our child? Do I invite the people who have worked for me - all for many years? We don't want people to feel obliged to come, but also don't want to hurt any feelings.

In Reply

Thanks for sending in this question, it is a great illustration of how hard it can be to get the guest list just right. This is not really a question of graduation etiquette.

Just to give you some suggestions.
You don't say if you are having say a large open house party where they would not be out of place. For a smaller close friends and family party you may feel they would not fit in quite so well.
You also don't say if you have been invited to your colleagues graduation parties for their children.
The great thing is your intentions are at least to try and involve them all so you should be able to communicate with them either way.

Soon to Be Grad

My parents have generously offered to host my graduation party in honor of me earning my bachelor's degree. I am planning the party (as far as decor, stationery, menu, etc.,) a. to make my Mom's life easier and b. because I thoroughly enjoy party planning. So far she's given me carte blanche regarding planning and the guest list, with one exception.

I'd like to invite my boyfriend's family, in addition to my family and all of our friends. We live together, and are not engaged yet. Of course his parents and siblings are invited, but I feel like a part of my family will be missing in this celebration if his aunts, uncles and cousins aren't there too. He does have a large family, so I understand if the additional guests may exceed my parents' budget, however I don't think that is the issue.

Whenever I made mention of inviting the entire family to this party (we've been planning for a few months but only recently started to finalize everything), my Mom's response was that she didn't think it was appropriate to invite his extended family, given that we are not engaged or married. Our families get along, we've shared family holidays, and my parents have even attended Christmas with my boyfriend's entire family before, so I don't understand what the issue is.

Am I in the wrong here, or is this etiquette not as outdated as I think it is? Thank you!

In Reply

Thanks for contacting me and also for giving such a full and frank description. I am afraid this one is not an etiquette question. You have invited the main group of immediate family and are now going way beyond that. This is all now down to personal choice and budget.

The very best of luck resolving it.

RSVP for Open Parties

Is it ok to ask guests to RSVP if it is a drop-in party?

In Reply

This one is up to you.

A few things to consider would include would it put off any of your guests from just dropping in, given that it is a drop in will some people really not be able to say what they are doing and also this needs to be balanced by your need to know how many to cater for, for example. It would give you an idea for numbers.

I hope the party is a huge success!

High School graduation invites to close friends that have children graduating with my son.

by Cheryl
(Virginia)

I have several close friends who have children that will be graduating high school with my son. (Same school, grew up together,etc.) Is it proper ettiquette to send them an invitation/announcement or do they balance each other out? I don't want to be embarrassed if my son receives a gift and I didn't send one to their child. We are also having an open house type party for my son and don't want anyone to feel obligated or offended if they don't receive an invite as they will be busy with their own child. What is proper?

In Reply

Many thanks for sending in a great question.

Your strict obligations are for fmily and those who have contributed to the graduate, so you would not have to worry too much about etiquette.

On a personal note the way I would look at it is to be inclusive. You say the graduates grew up together so it is great to invite them all to the open house party. To cover gifts you can state no gifts on the invite.

For their parents you may find that some are busy with their own events but it may be hard to find out who is free in advance. In that case sending them all an invite will make sure you don't leave anyone out. If you are able to talk to them in advance you can explain that you would love to invite them all and anyone who cannot make it just has to let you know without feeling concerned about it.

It does seem you can take an inclusive approach and help everyone out by making it easy to decline if they are busy.

I would be delighted if you would let me know how this feels to you. Each family will feel a little differently so it may help to develop the answer for you a little.

Invitation Etiquette

by Lori

I am having a small get together at my house. Many of the guests will be travelling from the same town. Is it ok to list the names of the invitees so they can come together?

In Reply

Many thanks for contacting us, I hope I can help.

Assuming this is for a graduation party then as long as you cover the basic etiquette requirements then any additions like this are up to you. I assume you know everyone is happy to be named and some will offer to drive.

Good luck with your arrangements.

Anna

by Anna
(New Kensington, PA)

What is the time frame to mail out a high school graduation party invitation? ie: 4 weeks?
Thank you!

In Reply

Many thanks for getting in touch.

6 weeks certainly gives your guests time to arrange to attend, buy a gift and plan flights (if required). 6 weeks would be good if you can do it.

4 weeks can work if everyone is local and there are no competing parties.

3 to 4 weeks can work just fine if you are having an open house party.

Without knowing your exact circumstances, you may find 4 weeks works for your graduation party.

Never met the Grad

A coworker handed me an invite to her child's high school graduation party. I have never met the child and do not socialize with this coworker during or after work. Another coworker received an invite but on the envelope one name was crossed off and her's was added. After talking to others in our department, it looks like everybody was invited. Maybe 2-3 people out of 40 know the grad and/or parent well enough to merit the invite. We feel like they are begging for money. Nobody is really sure how to handle this properly.

In Reply

Thanks for getting in touch. I am afraid there is no real invitation etiquette question here.

On a personal note I do sympathize with you here. Each person has their own way of dealing with these situations. I tend to be a soft touch and end up going, and buying a small gift, but I do not stay too long unless I find myself totally engaged in the party. However you are under no obligation to do do anything.

High school graduation

by sharon west
(Nashville, TN)

What do you do if your high school graduate is graduating during a work week but you want to have the party on the weekend. Do you send out 2 different invitations?

In Reply

Many thanks for sending in a great question!

Firstly congratulations to the graduate, I hope everything goes really well.

On your question, it certainly would avoid confusion if the ceremony and the party each have their own invites. That way guests can reply knowing that the events are on separate days, and which one they are saying they will attend (hopefully both).

You might want to consider how you handle gifts for those invited to both events.

I hope this reply helps, if you need further help please feel free to contact me.

Who to invite?

Should spouse be included?

In Reply

Many thanks for getting in touch.

I am very happy to help you, however I am not quite sure of the context of this question.

Are you asking if you should include your spouse's name in the invite wording?

If you give me a little more information here I will be very happy to help you.

Invitation to employer.

Is it proper Etiquette to send a college graduation Invitation to your current employer?

In Reply

Great question!

There are no formal etiquette rules here so it is really your own choice.

Purely on a personal note I would think through how close I was to the employer, did they know the graduate well, are other people from work attending, are others at work inviting the employer to their child's graduation and would they fit in well at the event. Let me know if you have other points in favor/ against your employer attending!

Group graduation party question

by Riki
(Evanston, WY)

We are very close with quite a few members of my son's graduating class. We are so close in fact that we (about 20 of us) decided it would be easier to hold one graduation party rather than try to do seperate ones and try to go to everyone elses. We've rented a location and everyone is sending their own invitation to friends/family. My question is, do we send "Graduation Annoucements" to the other families who will be holding the party with us? We obviously don't need to send them an invite to the party...but it seems like we should send them something "official" to acknowledge their involvement in our sons life. Thanks for suggestions!

In Reply

Many thanks for contacting me and congratulations to all of the graduates.

There is no real etiquette issue here so you are free to come up with something creative.

First off, sending them an announcement seems like a good idea. Perhaps you could consider personalizing it with a card which states that you are sending the announcement as a way of thanking them for being loving, positive and supportive people to the graduate, for example.

Purely on a personal note, I would happily do this for families we are close to. I would also consider if the other families would feel they should do the same or would be doing it anyway. You are close to this group so you will likely know how they will react.

If you wish to avoid gifts, it would be worthwhile covering your 'no gifts' policy.

I would be delighted to know any further thoughts you have.

Graduating from college Post Bac with certificate

I am graduating in May with a Post Bac. certification, but my grades qualify me for Summa Cum Laude status. The school does not recognize honor status for any Post Bac. graduates. Would it be in bad taste to state the Summa Cum Laude on my graduation announcements? Thanks for the help!

In Reply

Many thanks for contacting me and congratulations on your excellent qualifications.

The only etiquette issue is covered when you include the exact qualifications you have achieved, as stated on your diploma. Anything extra is up to you.

Judging whether it would be bad taste is tricky. You will know those who are receiving the announcements and how they will react.

I am afraid I cannot give to a definite answer here. Let me wish you good luck for the future and congratulations.