graduation gifts

by missysue
(evansville, indiana)

Invited to 2 graduation open houses and received one graduation announcement. Are gifts required for all three of these? missysue


In reply

This is your choice.

On a personal note I would decide on my overall gift budget and divide it up depending on how close I was to each person, but I like to give gifts. Certainly if I was going to the party I would give something. I might also think about any gifts this group had bought for our daughters, if any. But these are just personal thoughts.

Combined Graduation Parties

(Merced County)

We are having a High School Graduation Celebration for two people, they are just friends and not related so they will be inviting their own family and friends. What is the proper etiquette for letting people know they do not need to bring gifts for both graduates.



In Reply


Many thanks for contacting us and congratulations to both graduates. Gifts are not an obligation as their origin dates back to graduates joining the military and needing certain things. You might like to consider wording that clarifies the position directly, depending on the guests. Something like "if you are buying a gift please do so only for the graduate you know" might just work. Alternatives are hard to word effectively unless they are a complete no gifts policy. Please come back to me once you have had a think about wording that suits your guests. Certainly they might just be relieved to find they are only expected to buy gifts for their favorite graduate.

Elementary group graduation party gifting

by Jen
(Long Island ny)

Hi
My daughter is graduating elementary school and has been invited to several group graduations. Some are hosted by two families and some as much as nine families. I believe the entire grade has been invited. How do I bring gifts for these parties without going broke?

In Reply

Thanks for contacting me. Firstly congratulations to your daughter.

There is no etiquette that requires gift giving. However we all feel required to do it.

I can only tell you that I would set a budget and buy a gift for each child accordingly. I would look online to find a way of buying at the best possible price, especially since I would be buying many gifts.

However first, if I knew the other parents, I would consider talking to them and agreeing a sensible approach. None of us wants to be left with lots of gifts that will never be used. You might discuss a general budget per gift or joint gifts where possible.

I wish I could help you further here, however I hope you can find a way to buy the gifts you need.

Graduation party for fellow graduate

by Tammy
(Texas)

My daughter is graduating from high school next week. She has been invited to several parties for fellow graduates. Should she bring a gift?

In Reply

First off, congratulations to your daughter, what a great time for you all!

Strictly speaking there is no requirement to give a gift.

However you might believe everyone else is giving a gift so your daughter should do the same. At this stage if you can find out from the other families if they are giving gifts and, if so, what amount they intend to spend that would be great. If not you might just set a budget and split it between each graduate.

Please let me know what you decide.

Good luck

Proper etiquette for attending a graduation party

by Lori Weaver
(Sellersville, PA)

What's the proper etiquette for attending a junior high graduation party where my daughter attended & graduated also? Do I purchase a gift?


In Reply

Many thanks for getting in touch.

There is no etiquette requirement for buying a gift, it is completely at your discretion.

(Can I check that it is you who is attending the party, or your daughter.)

Gift giving is always tricky. Purely personally I try and do roughly the same as the other parents unless I think they are completely wrong in their approach.

Perhaps you could talk to the other parents and find out what they plan to do before you finalize your own plans.

Good Luck

Monetary gift for HS graduation

by M. Cox
(NY, NY)

If is in poor taste for someone to put a dollar amount on a HS graduation party invite? I thought it was just ok to monetary gifts only which would be going to support the youth who is attending college.


In reply

Depending on the circumstances it would be normal to give gifts for those going to college or joining the armed forces. However if you are going to the graduation party it would be normal to take a gift. Without knowing those involved it is hard to give a meaningful comment on them stating a monetary amount.

Announcements Question

My questions are these. I have two graduations this year, one from High School and one from College.

Many of our friends also have graduating seniors both from High School and College. Is is correct etiquette to send announcements to them. They already know and are going to the ceremonies because of their own graduates. Will they feel that we expect a gift from them because we sent them announcements? (we will probably put no gifts)

Also can we put no gifts on only some of the announcements? Where should that go? Should it be a personal note tucked into the announcement?

Thank you.


In Reply


Many thanks for contacting us. Announcements would normally go to family and those, for example, who live too far away to be included in things like ceremony and party invites. As a result you do not need to send announcements to this group. If you do they would likely feel they should send a gift unless you cover it with "no gifts". On a personal note I might send announcements if they do it, just to be polite. You might know them well enough to talk it over.

You can put no gifts and make it a footnote on the announcements that you send. The issue of no gifts is for you to decide on so you can put it in a personal note if you wish.

You might put no gifts on some and not others. Again on a personal note I would find this tricky as my concern would be the different people would meet and find out about the difference. Hopefully you can see how it would work.


Congratulations to your graduates.

Teen daughter invited to multiple friends graduation parties, does she give a gift??

by Mary Lisa
(Upstate New York)

My 17 year old daughter is invited to friends graduation parties. Is she suppose to give a gift to them? Is it suppose to be money? I wasn't sure what was suppose to be done, some have been friends just this year, some for three years, some for many years. And for when she graduates next year, when she is invited to fellow graduates parties, does she get them gifts? Thanks


In Reply

Many thanks for getting in touch.

There is no etiquette requirement to give gifts which clearly lets you decide for yourself, but still leaves you to resolve this gift giving dilemma.

Purely personally we have a standard gift that is a small gift certificate inserted in a congratulations card. I check the gift amounts with other families to make sure we are roughly in line. Where our daughter is close to the graduate we increase the amount or let her choose something she is sure the graduate will love.

I am afraid this does not give you a complete answer but I hope it helps a little. Please let me know if I can help further.

Gifts

by Kc
(ms)

Is okay to list where the student in registered for gifts?


In reply

This is OK. You could do that and word it respectfully so that no one feels they need to buy anything.

No Graduation Invitation

by Elijah

A grad is offered to go on a vacation trip or have party. He chooses trip. He is a relative. Am I expected to still give a gift. When my daughter graduated we had a party and they gave to us.




In Reply


I can't see any expectation of gift giving here, it will be your own choice.

Graduation party .. Gift???

by Meranda Davis
(Baytown, TX)

Do you open gift during the party?

In Reply

Thanks for getting in touch.

There is no real etiquette question here so you can decide your own rule.

Purely personally I would say not to open gifts. I feel gifts may be compared which is not fair. Also many are money so there is no immediate thrill of a spectacular gift.

Against this I feel it is nice for gift givers to see the reaction of the graduate when they open their gift. However on balance I go for not opening gifts and make sure a thank you note goes out as soon as possible.

However someone might ask you to open their gift and their request should be complied with.

Please use comments and ask for clarification and add your own thoughts. I would be delighted to know what you decide to do.

Good luck with your party and congratulations to the graduate!

Graduation gift etiquette for multiple grads

My son is graduating high school this year. We are having his graduation party later in the summer. We have been invited to several of his classmates' graduation parties, and most of those same people have been invited to his party. My question is whether or not we need to give gifts to all of his friends who are graduating. Since we are all attending each other's parties, is it acceptable for us all to agree not to give presents - since we'll all be giving the same amount as we'll be receiving? And if so, how do you breech that topic with the other families?


In Reply


Many thanks for contacting me and congratulations to your graduate.


There is no real etiquette question as gifts are a personal decision. If you all agree not to give gifts that would be fine.
On a personal note there are a few ways of approaching the other families if you do not know them well. Purely as an example, you might start by asking what they are doing in terms of gifts for their own graduate and compare notes there. That could let you also ask how they feel about buying lots of gifts for the other graduates. You may be able to see a way ahead once you know how they feel.

Should you give at least the exact amount given to your graduate?

by alexis
(mass)

I had a big graduation party for my son last year and a very close friend gave him $200 as a gift. She now has a son that has graduated but is not having a party, Do i give the same to him and she gave to my son?


In Reply

Many thanks for submitting a great question.

I am afraid there are no etiquette requirements here so it is all down to personal opinion.

Clearly where they are not having a party there is less reason to give a gift. However you might want to think about the effect on your relationship with your friend if you don't give a gift, how close you are to the graduate and the generosity shown to your own graduate last time.

Purely personally I would probably go with $200 because it is simpler to do. Also I would be giving a gift to my close friend's son anyway and I would not know how else to work out a suitable amount.

Please ask any further points you wish, I would love to know what course of action you take.

Good Luck

Oops! I forgot to send a relative a graduation invite and have received a gift!!!

I missed sending a college invitation to an aunt who sent a graduation gift of money. Do I send her the invite/announcement even though graduation has passed? I do plan on sending her a thank you note of course but just not sure about sending the college ceremonial/announcement. Please advise



In Reply


A graduation announcement would normally go out to those who are not being invited and can be sent even after the ceremony. If you have an announcement that may be the thing to send. Your thank you card will certainly be important.

These are really the only two official items you can send.

Thank for sending in your question.

Mindy

by mindy
(pittsburgh, pa)

My friend and I both have daughters graduating together and we decided to have their party together. We would like to know how we write on the invitation that guests are not obligated to buy for the one girl if invited by the other.


In Reply


Firstly congratulations to both daughters.

Thanks for asking such a great question. There may be a few ways to consider here. You could try "if you are buying a gift please do so only for the graduate you know".

Or, "although this is a joint party please only buy a gift for the graduate you know".

Or, "You are not obligated to buy a gift for the graduate you don't know"


You can see from these suggestions that it can be a little cumbersome using the not obligated option. However depending on the wording on your invites you may feel a particular approach works for you. I would be delighted to hear how you finalised the wording.

is it appropriate to include gift idea list in my son's high school graduation invitations?

We are having a family and close friend back yard bbq for our son's high school graduation. We plan on only about 20 people. Is it appropriate to include gift idea list in my son's high school graduation invitations?


In reply

Thanks for asking this great question.
It is always a tricky one since there is no real etiquette here. I would think that you would do so only if you are sure of the guests you are inviting. If, for example you always buy gifts for each other's children at graduation then there is no harm in it at all. I would hesitate if I was unsure about how an individual guest would feel about it. After all the most important thing will be to make guests feel welcome.

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